Wise Old man makes no sense

My great-grandfather used to tell me, "Don't chase after narwhals because you'll only end up with a kumquat in your finger." I never quite understood his advice until one INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY, I was gardening with my best friend Ophelia Heiny. All of a sudden, we found an underground tunnel! It was foppish and spooky sounds came from deep within. Ophelia Heiny saw something interesting inside, jumped in, and I never saw her again. Great-granddaddy was right!